Camouflage a la the color oatmeal.
I don’t remember if I showered yesterday
So there’s that.
Hey, a friend is conducting research on the above — the link is to a survey. It takes about 10-15 minutes. The researcher is making a small donation to the American Cancer Society for each person who participates.
If you’re interested, consider taking the survey. Or maybe you could reblog it?
Sunday is for food (and football)
Alton Brown’s chocolate chip cookies
Change is inevitable. How prepared you are for it determines how smoothly those changes are made.
In my case, I’ve been prepared for this change for a long time, so I think that’s a big part of why my transition here has been pretty much seamless. Dan and I knew that our relationship would be long-term, that instead of fizzling out, it would grow and flourish as we added more fuel to the fire. I think deep down, whether it’s a long distance relationship or a just-around-the-corner relationship, that we all know on an instinctual level whether our love for another person is going to last. It’s why, when we look back at past relationships, we can say, with some degree of detachment, that X red flag or Y red flag should have been our signal to cut and run. In my case, I knew that Dan was worth the hard work that would likely come from being with someone who lives 1,000 miles away (and who has 2 kids and was going through a divorce), and that realization actually came during an argument.
(Tangent: I was driving back from Syracuse and I was pissed at Dan because I thought I was being played. I thought he was flirting with someone else besides me, and I felt like a fool. Yes, I know it was stupid, because Dan is probably one of the most guileless (guile-free, totally lacking guile, I hope you get my point that he doesn’t have a deceitful bone in his body) people to ever exist, but these were unfamiliar waters I was navigating. Once I realized that he was being sincere and totally honest with me, I stopped yelling and realized that I needed to actually listen to what he was saying, instead of assuming I know best (which is a long-standing fault of mine).) I also realized in that moment that the reason I was so angry was not because I felt foolish, but because I honestly didn’t want to lose him.
It was like a light-switch was flipped on in that moment. We learned how to disagree with the other and make it productive. I think that is the key - at least for us - accepting the fact that there will be disagreements or arguments, and then taking the negativity out of the issue, and working it into a positive outcome. It basically boils down to communication - we talk about EVERYTHING. I woke up first, I texted him. He woke up first, he texted me. We talked about the most mundane of details, and listened to every moment of the other’s day. Some people might say that the constant communication might be stifling, but by no means did the texting back and forth stop us from individually going out and having a good time. I knew that if I didn’t hear from him, that he was having a good time drinking with his buddies, and he knew that if he didn’t hear from me, that I was having a good time at dinner with my girlfriends. It wasn’t a chore to check in with each other, and we did so on our own schedule. There was never any independence lost, and I know that was an important initial piece of our relationship.
In the midst of all of this, he never stopped being affectionate or romantic. Cards would show up at my house with love notes, or I would get an email at work wishing me a good day. There’s some quote floating around the dash that says something to the effect of “Love only goes away if you let it”, or some such thing, and I think that’s a fair assessment. Sometimes it happens for both people on the same schedule, and sometimes it only goes for one person, but either way, someone has made a (sub)conscious choice to check out of the relationship, and that’s when things outwardly start to go bad. We both are affectionate people, and that, combined with my pragmatism and his spontaneity, has made for a really solid foundation.
Finally, long-distance only works if you want it to, but there does also have to be an end-game. It doesn’t matter if there’s a year or 8 years in between the present and your ultimate goal, but it IS important to have a finish line. You can go on for weeks, months, years if you have to, but you can’t expect two people to survive in a situation where distance is permanent. We set realistic goals for our relationship, and we were able to achieve them (with some flexibility on his end about my time-frame for leaving my job). Do I think that it will work out as well for everyone in a LDR as it did for me and Dan? No. I do think, however, that the hard work should never be a deterrent if your instincts are telling you that this is the right choice.
Like I said in the beginning, Dan and I have been prepared for this to happen for a long time, and so now that we’re living together, it’s been really easy. We’re also only a week in, but given the level of honesty and communication that we’ve had to date, I don’t foresee any major changes in behavior coming our way. (He already knows I’m a little crazy and he loves me despite/because of it.) Bottom line, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.
Phone fell out of my pocket, part of the display is all fucked up.
This is a good thing to happen when I’m unemployed.
I sent this to Dan.
OITNB and morning coffee = yesterday.
Love Actually and morning coffee = today.
Someone needs to hire me.
Watching OITNB and waiting for Dan to get home
Dinner is about 74.9% done (being times so that it’s ready minutes after he walks in) and I have beer chilling in the fridge.
If I had even the remotest interest in being a house-girlfriend, I would be the rockstarriest house-girlfriend ever.
Unshowered, still in my pajamas, and sans makeup.
No need to scar anyone’s retinas with that kind of beauty.
Q:How did it feel waking up in a "new" house knowing you are home and knowing the one you love is waking up next to you? I am so happy for you!
I expected it to be a little surreal, honestly. I woke up next to Dan on Monday, though, and it was like we’ve been doing so for our whole lives. It felt normal (yet new and perfect and exciting at the same time).
This is how I know I made the right decision, to move in with him here in Illinois…because as sad as I was to leave my family as friends, as scary as it was to leave the comfort of the familiar for a totally new and unknown situation, now that I’m here…it feels 1000% natural.
Sequence of events
In the midst of Unpackapalooza 2013, get so hungry I almost pass out.
Chow down on chips and salsa.
Feel sick from eating too quickly, nearly vomit up aforementioned snack.
Dan is back at work and I’ve got NCIS on tv and my clothes in piles on the bed.
Just like that, I’m overwhelmed with the process of finding a job and getting my life in order here, but fortunately, I’m acutely conscious of how quickly I could progress from “manageably overwhelmed” to “curl up in a ball in the corner”, so I’m going to eat my breakfast sandwich, make a list (LISTS!), and plow forward.
And make sure Dan eats breakfast in the morning.
It’s been a long and amazing 3 days.
I did not expect to cry when Dan and I drove away from my parents’ house with them standing on the front walk, watching me go. No, that was a heartbreak I did not expect to experience. Dan held my hand as I cried and kissed me at the end of the street as I told him through my tears that I was so excited to start our new life together. I was more honest in that moment than ever; our metamorphosis from LDR to cohabiting couple had begun.
A 1,300 mile journey with some breweries, a lot of pit stops for beef jerky, wonderful friends that are more like family, and the 90s on 9 Sirius radio…and we are here. OUR home.
We now get to finish unpacking my boxes and bags, cook together, go to sleep together, spend every precious moment together. I love him more than I knew I could love a single person. He’s my best friend, my sweetheart, my superhero, my love.
I belong with you, you belong with me.