And I find myself nervous that at some point someone is going to pop up and say, “HaHA! Joke’s on you! Surmount this unsurmountable obstacle, bitch.”
I imagine them moonwalking away as they mock me, too, but that’s sort of unrelated.
I don’t think I’m nearly interesting enough to think of 10 facts, but here goes:
1) When I was 7 or 8, I got chicken pox and a severe case of poison ivy at the same time. I was in so much pain from the combined itch, my mother brought me to the emergency room, where they gave me a steroid of some kind (no idea what it was) - I had an allergic reaction to it and my throat swelled shut.
2) At a fundraiser walkathon in high school, I met the band LFO and got invited onto their tour bus, along with one of my friends.
3) I thought pizza was disgusting until I was about 14 or so.
4) I have excess elasticity in most of my joints, but mainly my fingers.
5) Keeping with all things body related, I have keratosis pilaris, a completely common but incredibly annoying skin condition (for someone as vain as myself).
6) I have specific stipulations about traveling by vehicles that aren’t cars which I will not stray from. Trains or planes, need to be by a door. Boats (ohmygod fuck boats), I absolutely can not be below deck.
7) I could read at the age of 2 and was the narrator for all my kindergarten plays as a result.
8) I can’t eat any kind of nut because I’ll immediately break out into cold sores. Within minutes.
9) I once biked a total 300ish miles from Amherst, MA through NH and into VT.
10) I have 6 tattoos and intend on getting at least 3 more.
There’s a 90% chance it’s already raining.
Do you see that, guys? He’s asking me if we can smooch soon.
I can’t believe you think we’re gonna smooch.
WE’RE GONNA FULL ON MAKE THE FUCK OUT.
Starting Monday with The Iron Giant.
This man here is exactly what a good father should be. Devoted, loving, a constant guiding light in his children’s lives. He would do anything and everything for them, which includes showing them that you don’t have to stay in an unhappy situation in order to live a full, productive life.
Dan, love - you know what a father should not be, how a father should never act. I’ve seen you with 10 and 6, and they are amazing because YOU are amazing. You deserve every ounce of love and praise today - Happy Father’s Day, my love.
My father is a man of few words. His actions, however, have always spoken volumes. Whether it’s the list of words he meticulously wrote out when I was first learning how to talk, giving me a love of tequila, or the full toolkit he presented to me when I moved away to college so that I would never have to rely on anyone but myself. His irreverent sense of humor, his enormous heart, his brilliant mind - I only hope I’ve inherited those things from you. I’ll always be a Daddy’s girl, and with Big Tom as my father, I couldn’t be prouder to say that.
I love you, dad.
Adam, thank you for reminding me that it’s possible to be empathetic and full of reason at the same time.
For caring and asking the important questions in the same breath.
For your never-ending generosity and of course, those hugs.
Happy birthday, dear! Miss you tons - I hope it’s every bit as wonderful as you are.
Happy birthday, beautiful girl! Remember that time we decided to wage epic battles with our livers and nearly died in the cab on the way to have brunch with Shira? What are friends for if not to do crazy things and laugh about them the next day? I hope your day is as amazing as you are! Love and miss you, lady!
My mother and I in the kitchen
Mom: I’m trying to decide if I want a glass of wine.
Me: Of course you do.
Mom: I don’t think I do. I never start drinking this early.
Me: (deliberately takes a swig of the beer I’ve just opened) Okay.
I don’t know if it’ll ever not sting when my sister goes off somewhere and doesn’t even bother to ask if I’d like to come along. However, I’ve been supremely productive and now I’m telling myself I deserve a beer. I would rather be sitting next to Dan and having beers at GR Brewing, though. I miss my peoples. Last night’s FaceTime made my entire day. Cajun cheeseburgers and roasted Brussel sprouts and cauliflower for dinner. Veggiepalooza is a weekly thing as of recently. Sunny and warm, beer in hand and my cares melt away.
These two make my heart so so happy, even if it’s a little sad that I’m not squishing the both of them right now.
I love you both madly.
I know nobody cares because ewww country, but this is my song for Dan, and also I’m madly in love with their entire album.