Maybe I’m just a whole buncha bitchy
I’m going to try and explain how I feel right now as eloquently as possible, but we’ll see how that actually works out. Don’t hold your breath.
It’s unfortunate, but it’s a truth that sex sells and your looks will get you everywhere. If people (i.e. mainstream media and the resulting popular opinion) don’t consider you attractive, you find alternative ways of engaging, be it with your wit or your intelligence or dazzling vocal stylings or ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound…whatever it is, you use that to get what you need.
I have never thought I was pretty or felt pretty. It’s hard to believe that when you look in the mirror and hate what you see. If you’re lucky, you find the willpower to change the outward appearance, but the feelings linger. So, what have I done? Built a strong character, treated others as I want to be treated, and tried occasionally to be funny (that works less often than I’d like it to), and be someone that others want to be around.
So, for some reason, despite all my efforts, it seems to suck more than usual when the aforementioned tactics to engage people backfire. It’s almost like a personal affront. I know - not everyone is going like me, and I’m really okay with that…but it still stings when you think you’ve made a successful connection and it turns out that you haven’t. That budding friendship, that nascent relationship - all for naught.
I seem to have had a rash of these particular occurances lately. Maybe I’m doing something wrong; it’s hard to say. The old me (me a year ago) would have let this bother me and I would have tried to find out & fix whatever the problem was. Now? If you don’t like me - tough. There are plenty of people who do. If we have to interact, you can expect me to be nice to the extent that I must in polite society. Otherwise, you might as well be air.
44 Notes/ Hide
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- kkillumnick said: I’ve been dealing with the same exact thing. Love you!
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- meyechael said: Just a thought when i read this… Perhaps finding a friend is like finding a job.. You have to send out 100 resumes to get 5 callbacks for 3 interviews that will land you one job… Its all in numbers and pegs fitting holes the right way.
- sinxo said: Well I love you for who you are. No matter what. <3
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