- Me: Are you waiting for someone in surgery?
- Asshole son of patient: Yeah.
- Me: What's the name?
- Asshole son: Why?
- Me: So that when the doctor asks me who the family is, I know that you're here and don't send them away.
- Asshole son: He knows who we are.
- Me: No, honey, he doesn't know you from a hole in the wall, but feel free to test that theory. When I'm right, feel free to grovel appropriately.